do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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