My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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