he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize