he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
