You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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