I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
