Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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