Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
