Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
