She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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