fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
