Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
