remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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