I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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