Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
