HIV tests are more positive than that guy
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
