it wasn't lemon gatorade
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize