Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
a search helicopter?!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
