Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You did what with his pubic hair?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
