Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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