hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
