We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
