So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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