I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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