I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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