she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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