His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
