Your tits are I can't wait for
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
