you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
