I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
