Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
