Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
