My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
