Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
