Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
