so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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