let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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