So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
