Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize