i think i have two assholes
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
