i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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