i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
