she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
