Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Can Purell be used as lube?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
