I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
