Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
