I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
