my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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