They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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