just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My balls are so social today.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
