I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize