Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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