some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
