How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
