i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
