PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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