Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
