Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
