is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
