we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
