What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
